Peter edited his essay, and then asked his college counselor to do the same. This is what he ended up with (edits: deletions are crossed out and new words are in red font):

Short Essay With Editing Marks

Being on a varsity basketball team has by far been the most meaningful experience of my high school career. Why? Because for the simple reason that I’m so passionate about it. I love many things about basketball: the camaraderie of the team, the fierce competition, the nervous tension I feel before a big game, even the way Coach throws his clipboard at the ground when he’s mad. This is not to say that I’m any good at the game; in fact, I’m really bad. atrocious. I’m a scrawny white boy of 5’10” who can’t dribble, doesn’t shoot that well, and the only player on my team who that can’t touch the rim. Despite my lack of talent, I can’t help myself - I love ing the game. I have a spot on the Varsity team solely because I work harder than anyone else on the court, not because I score a lot of points (or any points!). Over the years, (comma) much to my and the coach’s surprise, I’ve become somewhat of a team leader, able to helping the team with my understanding of and creating strategies for the game, rather than doing all the with a display of fancy moves and nasty dunks. Basketball has given me so much! Not only has basketball given me a chance do I get to run around and compete, but it the game has also introduced me to a completely different social group who has taught me the. My basketball friends have educated me as to the meaning of such words as ‘flossin and blingin,’ as well as exposed me to rap music (which is now my favorite). I’m absolutely crazy about this the game and, honestly, would not give it up for anything.

8. Give your essay one final proofread; then upload it into the space the on-line application provides
Before you upload your essay, it’s a good idea to give it one final edit and/or proofread. It is so easy to miss an error or two. How silly it would be to let something small diminish all your hard work. Be especially careful to note computer spell-check errors, e.g. the word hair coming out as hare.